There are those moments that you have to count to 10.. Something happens or someone says something and you feel the urge to give them a large piece of your mind. I would call it my Betty modus, but not everyone has invented a little mini me for themselves.
Why is it that we have these states of mind. It would be wise to ask yourself in this state ‘ I wonder what they meant by that remark” or “Maybe the other person is having a bad day?” This function, called compassion, is not turned on 24/7, not with me..
In our social media world we often see it. Someone posts something and people react. Words have a funny effect on us. The absence of the tone of the remark or the expression on the face makes that we read it with our own interpretation. Even if I do see the face of the person who makes the remark, I get in this state sometimes..
I thought you would make a salad… was the sentence I got recently. If I look at those words, there’s nothing wrong with them. The words enter my head, go through a filter en oops.. too bad.. my ego was reading. The words make her mad.. she translates them into the word ” BLAME”. Before you know it you’re having a long conversation about one sentence.
The filter system is one of the causes of not being compassionate all the time. Also the negative thinking the ego does. Somewhere in the inner archive are numerous words in little drawers. Some words are connected to drawers with experiences and emotions. If the connection was for just one word it would be manageable, but that’s usually not the case. If the drawers are kept open all day and connections are made, communicating becomes a difficult job.
For me, if I can hold back my Betty, it helps to put myself in the other persons shoes. Ask what is someone saying, what is the translation and is that a correct one. Checking if your translation is correct is also a good thing to do. If you were right, well everyone is only human.. and might have a bad day.
I think I’m going to put a poster up in Betty’s room:
