I talk to a lot of people and if I were to take notes of all the conversations, I would have a small library filled with interesting stories by now. I once talked to a man about forgiving. The man had just lost his sister in law and was sad. Not about her passing away.. About the fact that she had been standing between him and his twin brother. His idea was.. good ridden..
In my heart I felt a strong feeling of oh dear.. Can’t you see what is happening. If you’re not trying to forgive her… you start building your own prison. It seems like the most not logical thing to do. Forgiving the sister in law. However… the nasty thoughts, the accusing, the illusion that she was guilty of the lost connection with the brother, it’s instant poison.
Negativity makes people sick. The story will grow larger and the nasty feelings too. It will not feed you. I offered some advice. Start a letter to your sister in law. Dear sister in law.. I forgive you for… and after that sentence you can write down everything you feel. All the anger, hate, resentment you have.. Go on.. Throw it all at her. And as extra advise… write one to yourself and think about where you were no saint.
Once the letters are written, burn them. so you let everything go. The advice got accepted. The actual writing wasn’t something he wanted to do, but thinking about it was ok.
It takes some time to decide to get rid of a grudge. It might feel comforting to feel the grudge. That’s ok.. Because of this story I did some thinking too. Where do I have some forgiving to do? The answer was.. me.
Oh I was a master in judging… especially myself. I had some adventures in life and I had solid bars around my heart. It bothered me. Love came knocking and I thought.. go away! I have been there, done that, not doing it again. Lucky for me, I saw the light. It was high time that I pushed the positive button in myself. The button which released positive thinking. The doors of my self built prison could open.
If I ever should feel the need to get a tattoo… it would be something like this.. to remind me of how clever it is to forgive and what it brings me.
