How do you deal with anger? We all get angry sometimes. It can happen in a split second. You have a choice (yes you do!) Either you let yourself go, or you find a way to distract yourself to let go of the emotion.
These days psychologists agree that it’s better not to let yourself go, but rather choose to distract yourself. Singing a happy song seems to fool the brain into thinking that you are happy and the emotion will fade.
That is easier said than done, singing a song and your temper is under control. It takes practice and the willingness to suppress it. Anger usually doesn’t come out of no where. There is always a deeper emotion involved. Feelings of not being seen, feelings of not being appreciated. For me it has to do with dishonesty. Sceams, mind games, foul play… Knowing that something isn’t as they make you believe, other motives are involved. It’s a guarantee for anger for me.
It happened to me today. I know my little ego has her own way with dealing with dishonesty. She goes bananas inside her little room in my head. Lucky for me I’m in charge and the first thing I do is look at a different perspective at the things my ego is screaming. Ask myself ‘is it true what I think’, ‘is it personal?’ Some of the anger is fading once I start doing that.
It might happen that I’ve reached my zen status and suddenly there is the urge to do something about the situation. For example, write an email of saying something about it to someone. It’s my little ego who still wants to kick and scream and has a need to pay back. I know if I give in to that, I’ll sabotage myself. It’s not the answer. Reacting impulsively will block the way for possible solutions which I may not see yet. It’s will not get me what I wanted, if I give in to anger.
Sleeping on it is often a good alternative. Impulsiveness is not helping. Sending an email is so easy. A few words and one push on the send button… and no way back.
I didn’t send an email. I decided to sleep on it. Who knows what might happen…
